Your situation is vaguely similar to mine, not exact, but close. My wife grew up in the home of a retired LEO. He was positively paranoid of any danger to her from guns so he strictly forbid her from touching or even knowing where they were. After we got married, we talked about owning a gun, but she never really liked the idea. She was never anti-gun per se, but she was kind of a knee jerk based on how she was taught. For her it was always, "I don't want my kids to be afraid like I am, but I'm not ready yet." Finally I decided that I couldn't let it go anymore. I explained to her that we had talked and talked and with the money available I was going to buy a pistol. She didn't have a problem with me carrying, but I also didn't have the permission slip at the time so I planned to OC. At first she was very much the same. Keep it unloaded. don't let the kids see it, etc. Then I told her, if we treat it the way you were taught, won't the kids end up the way you are? So we taught the kids about guns and were very open with them to alleviate the "curiosity factor."
I was lucky in that the LGS I bought that first one from had a deal on CCW classes that made them cheap if you bought a gun. So I registered both of us. What followed was fascinating. She didn't want to go. Not from fear, but because she was embarrassed to go. Didn't want to be the only girl. Didn't want to be the "newbie." Eventually she agreed it was a good idea and agreed to go. Then I told her she needed to fire the gun first. Oh no! I don't want to do that until I take the class. She'd never fired a gun before in here life. I explained that it will be a shock and she would spend the entire class worried about that first shot and miss all the information. She understood what that meant and agreed to to to a range with me. After we went, she admitted that she needed to do that. She was so worried about the first shot, she was concentrated on it the entire drive to the range and realized that she had basically missed the drive. She told me she would have missed everything in the class.
At the class, she still wasn't happy, but she was glad she went. It probably helped that the instructor let her play a little with his full auto suppressed M4... LOL. After the class she understood the realities of gun safety and responsibility. It got her past that "fear" she had built up since being a child.
Since then, she's attended several more classes and holds her own permission slip and is carrying every single day now. She's almost more into guns that I am. Every class we attended she hesitated first. But after the class, she was always grateful she went. I think education is more important than any "point" you can make. And as much as it sucks as a husband, what the guys here are saying about shutting up and letting the instructor work is so true. My wife learned more and got more out of a 60 min one-on-one session with an instructor than I was ever able to show her. She just doesn't learn the way I was trying to teach. I still think she's a better shot than me.
ETA: forgot to add. Now my MIL is living with us. She is still paranoid. I am known to occasionally lay my loaded pistol down on the end table next to me when I watch TV. OK, I do it a LOT. My MIL is panicked about it. "Can't you put it up higher so the kids can't get it?" (She still thinks my 18 yr old is 3) "What if it falls off?" "Does it have to be out in the open when you're home?" But, here's the fun part. My wife is the one arguing with her to stop being worried and stop complaining about it...
